Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Synopsis: The final in a series of three half-baked prequels to the original Star Wars trilogy, this is the story of Anakin Skywalker’s fall to the dark side and transformation into Darth Vader, amidst a confusing political battle involving aliens, droids and clones that culminates in the death of most of the Jedi and the formation of an evil Imperial Empire.

George Lucas is the worst thing ever to happen to the Star Wars saga. He may have had a brilliant vision of a space opera blend of technology and mysticism and managed to write and direct an exciting first instalment (later to be called Episode IV). He may have had the good sense to bring in co-writers and turn over direction of the much-loved Episode V and adequate Episode VI to those with a less histrionic touch. But some kind of authorial megalomania then took over. Someone should tell him the author is dead - it certainly feels like his scripts are tapped out by some skeletal hand.

While Lucas has spoken out against the colourisation of black and white classics, he is a hypocrite when it comes to revisionism of the equally classic and significant original three episodes. He re-released them with new visual and audio effects (which was kind of neat), but mangled story elements in the process with revised character motivations and scenes. They were simply stupid, politically-correct changes akin to the released ET where FBI agents’ guns were replaced with radios.

But Lucas really pulled our underpants over our heads with the three prequels - Episodes I, II and now Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith. The worst features of these films are many dramatic inconsistencies with the original three films (which surely defeats the purpose of making prequels), frequently terrible dialogue and character development, illogical plots, much wooden acting, confused politics, and a preoccupation with special effects and CGI-characters over coherent story. The prequels offer so many insults to the Star Wars way of doing things, like the casual order at the end of this episode by one of the ‘good guys’ to mind-wipe the sentient C3PO simply to preserve some mesh with the original. Oh yes, that’s far more important than little details like Padme dying in childbirth in Episode III, rather than some years afterwards as suggested by her daughter Leia in Episode V.

Episode III hits some of the lowest points of the prequels. Its main CGI-character, the inexplicably asthmatic android General Grievous, is even worse than Jar Jar Binks because he’s more pointlessly disappointing; especially with his more exciting colleague Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) being dispatched early in the piece – presumably because Lucas finds working with human actors annoying. The only motivation for Anakin (Hayden Christensen) turning to the dark side is because he has a premonition that Padme (Natalie Portman) will die in childbirth and wants dark force powers to save her – it seems that the future can build hyperspace engines and cybernetic man/robots but not save a healthy woman from death in childbirth. The apparently thoughtful and loving (if troubled) Anakin is quite prepared to slaughter the Jedi children who looked on him as their protector even before he is truly turned to the dark side. To add to this bizarre plot point, the film insists on referring to the kids as ‘younglings.’ Does Lucas think this kind of language adds a Shakespearean touch? While there are many other bizarrely stupid things in the film (such as Obi-Wan’s confidence he can beat the superior Anakin simply because he’s standing a little further up the hill from him), an underlying annoyance is that the nature of the force, one of the most interesting things in Star Wars, is largely unexplored and dictated by what seems convenient to the plot at the time.

Many fans, like Lucas himself, love the visual effects and don’t care about the story. Good luck to them – the lack of balance just doesn’t work for me. The best moments (and I use the word ‘moments’ deliberately) are insights to the events and characters behind the original films. Yet those insights are often diminished against a frenetic backdrop of futuristic detritus zipping to and fro.

The high points in Episode III that heave its struggling 140 minute mass above the quality of its predecessor prequels are some moments of gravitas with Anakin’s personal struggle, the ever-entertaining Yoda fights (pity about the grating syntax) and Anakin’s final, if problematic, transformation into Darth Vader. That transformation is the pivotal point behind the story of the three original films and frankly, we only needed one prequel to tell it.

 

 

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